(Ph.D, Prof. of Psychology, consciousness researcher, writer)
The awakening of the Consciousness leads us from our own personal history to the pure space of Consciousness. There we experience the Miracle, and all personal histories become insignificant. Despite this, I would like to present a few pages of my personal history to the reader, as every journey on the road starts with a personal history. That is the only way it may start, there is no alternative; that is the only way leading to the awakening of the Consciousness, the appearance of the Miracle.
Since my early childhood, I have been interested in the Miracle, the mystery of human existence, the mystery that summoned us from the Nothing, and the mystery we are destined to solve in our life.
I still remember my beloved mother’s astonished face when, after some of my questions, she turned to the others: “Now, look at that, what that kid is asking!”
The questions did not stop in the later years but, as I did not find appropriate partner from whom I could expect answers, the questions mostly remained within the walls of my room, and I myself attempted to find the answers.
My motivation became even more powerful after the following adventure: I was at the elementary school (12 years old), walking home from school and suddenly I experienced the Miracle, the completeness, the experience of the unity with the Self. At that time, naturally, I was not able to describe it that way, but the sense of unity and happiness was what I experienced.
That experience did not result in my lasting awakening, it faded away after a while, but it left behind a burning wound, a real sense of want. At the same time, it showed me the way where to look for it answers to my questions.
There was a long way to go to the second awakening. The first awakening made me start dealing with esoterica and find books on the subject.
Leaving the years of childhood behind, in my adulthood I became intensively interested in human soul, in the work of the human mind.
As a teacher and psychologist I have met a lot of people, and had an opportunity to study the ”normal” operation of human ego, and also its functions that are considered as not normal. I turned the pages of innumerable books of personal histories, trying to find the cornerstones that give the dramas and ecstasies of these personal histories meaning and sense.
I eventually found that cornerstone in the Miracle, in the awakening of the Consciousness, which demonstrated the futility of these personal histories and at the same time it showed the treasure to be found in them.
The personal histories are futile from the aspect of the awakening because we identify with our mind and we allow its unconscious functions to control our life and steer the boat of our life in one, and some time later just the opposite direction, depending on the actual desire or ambition dominating our mind. That is how page after page is filled in the history of our life until the last page arrives, and we realize the futility of all that happened before.
Our personal history may, however, have a very profound meaning if we become more wakeful and alert to these mind games, and recognize the Miracle, the wide open spaces of the Consciousness that is beyond our personal history. That pure consciousness was what I experienced as a child, and that is what I found again as a result of my regular meditation exercises that I had started a few years ago.
We must therefore wake up from our identification with our personal history, so as to be able to find our identity in the Miracle, the mystery of the Consciousness, instead of the world of the forms and shapes.